from The Hairpin

Seriously, though, despite the bizarre silhouettes, the collection is rather fascinating…

"Hi - I'm here for the job interview?"

from Style.com via The Hairpin

Anyhow, Thursday night wasn’t too bad. The main annoyance was the guy who chose, from the literally scores of empty lockers, to use the one directly next to mine as I changed into my sweats – though at least I had only started undressing and I was able to move to another less intimately located locker. This is the type of guy who’ll use the urinal right next to you despite there being 12 other unoccupied urinals. Weirdo. Also, the lady who was wearing so much perfume that it made my eyes water from eight feet away while I used the elliptical machine was not making my evening. Yeesh…

But (before the designer imposter fragrance assault), I was peacefully enjoying the view from the elliptical machine. The Y is located directly across from the SF Bay, so I was gazing at the water at dusk, the western span of the Bay Bridge beautifully lit up for the evening. And there were a couple of sea lions frolicking in the water… Really kind of amazing and a reminder that while I may hate the gym, I do love San Francisco.

And, as is to be expected, someone pointed out that some of them sounded like names of porno actors – which I of course took as my cue to modify the names into their appropriate and obvious porn analogs. And I was, of course, hilarious! Louis Trezevant Merkinfall, anyone? Here are a few of the gems I came up with…

Original                                                     Porn
William “Extra Billy” Smith                    William “Extra Willy” Smith
Bushrod Rust Johnson                            Bushrod “Rusty Trombone” Johnson
Amiel Weeks Whipple                             Amiel Tweaks Nipple
Benjamin “Spoons” Butler                      Benjamin “Poons” Butler
Young Marshall Moody                           Young Marshall Nudie

And the pièce de résistance:

Gideon Johnson Pillow                          Gideon “Johnson Pillow” Johnson Pillow

Thank you! I’ll be here all week!

And apparently, this is not her first time pulling this off so very well…

via Dlisted

It was immediately followed by lots and lots and lots of reinterpretations with various other genders/ethnicities/descriptors replacing “Girls.” And, for the most part, they were kinda meh. But just yesterday I came across three excellent ones.

First is “Shit White Girls Say to Black Girls.” It’s both funny AND cringe-inducing, since I’m quite sure that the lady who made this video has fielded all of these questions/comments many, many times.

“Not to sound racist, but…” is a classic. It is code for “I’m about to say something horribly racist, but by announcing that being racist is not my intention, that means I get a pass, right?”

Of course, it’s a conundrum. I’m a white male, but also a gay. How important is context? Am I racist for my exasperated observations of what-appear-to-be culturally-based differences in methods for boarding public transportation? Perhaps. And I certainly see a difference between being greeted “Hey Queen!” by one of my fellow gays (and generally responding “Hey girl!”) and being referred to as “that queen” by someone not of my tribe. Eh, like I always say, I’m just a misanthrope. I hate everyone, regardless of race, creed, color, national origin or sexual orientation.

Then there’s “Shit Gay Guys Say to Their Cats” – which could have been filmed in my apartment. It is eerily accurate. I don’t know whether to laugh or cry, frankly…

After seeing that, I was like “Game over. That’s it. This meme cannot be improved upon.” And then, this:

Perfection.

via fourfour

Granted, I still think I prefer last year’s version.

And how can anyone not kinda love Katy Perry?

After I quit my job last year, I packed a bag, grabbed my camera and bought a one way ticket to London. 17 countries later, I compiled this time lapse of the many amazing places I came across.

My only quibble? He includes footage of Pier 39 in his clip of San Francisco – and I can assure you that Pier 39 is not part of San Francisco. But still, amazing video.