Where am I?

I innocently walked into the Walgreens around the corner from my office – my office which is located in San Francisco, California, to the west of the Rockies.

But, like in an episode of the Twilight Zone, I’d apparently walked through some portal into another dimension. This is clearly evidenced by the availability of this product:

What? The? Fuck? I have no idea how that jar of Hellmann’s managed to make it all the way here – presumably after escaping from a Shop-Rite in Queens. I can just see the jar, hopping a west-bound train, hobo-style.

Interesting fact: Best Foods brand mayonnaise is only sold in the western U.S. All other countries are branded “Hellmann’s” – which in Argentina includes Hellmann’s Mayonesa Doblemente Batida (“extra batter style” – sounds, um, battery?) and Salsa Golf (mayonnaise with tomato paste) – and something I wish were offered in this country simply so I could ask “Could I have some Salsa Golf?” when dining out.

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