How to Avoid Weeping and/or Murderous Rage When Reading the News

Hey America! Pull my finger...

Every time I hear King Carrot Tangerine’s surname pronounced “BAYNER,” my eyes roll into the back of my head. Just like in poem, floes, roe and woe, in English (a.k.a. AMERICAN!), “oe” does not have a long A sound. His name is pronounced “BONER.” I swear it’s almost as bad as Raymond Luxury Yacht

Anyway, keep the correct pronunciation in mind as you read any given day’s headlines. It goes a long way toward preventing the gnashing of teeth and the screaming of obscenities. To wit:

Risks to Boehner in Debt-Ceiling Brinkmanship

Boehner Presses Obama on Libya Action

Are they drifting apart? Rumors swirl that Boehner and Cantor are less than cozy

Boehner Breaks Down Again

Boehner Is Monstrous Orange Prick; Also Horrible Douchebag

OK, I made that last one up. Though it is true.

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